This whole blog ( I have a couple blogs I write when I fancy doing so), but this whole blog has been my journey in becoming. It began at birth, though I didn't start writing then ;) I think I really started embracing the process after losing my mother and 3 short years later, my father. I am becoming these amazing things, I always was, but now purpose and drive are fueling the fire.
Losing both parents before 40 has made me evaluate many things. I am realizing some of their weaknesses that I just glassed over with Rose Colored lenses. Coupled with this has come the epiphany that I am realizing some of their strengths that I NEVER gave them credit for in this life. I am less hard on others since their loss. And becoming less hard on myself.
I am breathing more, smelling more roses (Thank you C.T.R... for helping me learn to do that when we were working at EHS for A.V.I.D... I bet you didn't even know the lesson literally stuck, but it did), I am reading more, laughing more, and having spontaneous water fights with my children. I am gardening. I remember endless hours of my mother stooped over some dirt, digging and shoveling, weeding and planting. And I thought, "Good for her, but that will NEVER be for me."
When she passed she wanted me to promise we would plant sweet peas with the children, and I assured her my Darling Husband would. However when I lost her I seemed to recognize the value of her stooped over, digging and planting. I learned over the last couple of years that when growing gardens, cultivating plants is not the only growth that occurs. As my hands mix the soil, as I water, and watch, prepare and nurture...miracles spring forth. And just like raising our children...some of those seeds don't do just what we want, some take longer to sprout, some refuse to in general and all of them have a mind of their own. There are early bloomers and late bloomers and everything in between.
Life is full of growing pains. We are experiencing the growing pains that accompany the transition from age 11 to age 12, of hormones, of the onset of puberty... ummm.... this is NOT fun! But it IS part of becoming. As I suffer through these days of fluctuating between being the greatest and worst person in the world (nearly daily) in my daughters eyes, I have gained a new respect for me parents and how beautifully they helped navigate me through those difficult and stretching years. I wish they were here so I could say how many times I was wrong, and how sorry I am. I can see it now far more clearly. Funny how smart our parents often get as we get older. No rose glasses here, I assure you they had as many weaknesses as I do (and the list is long), but the journey in discovering their wisdom has been rewarding too.
Make it a great day! Only you can!